admitted into a Moral Family Show. And he ain't much worse than an
ordinary Dwarf. Now, the other Freaks, as a rule, are contented so long
as they draw well and don't fall in love.

"The Living Skeleton knows that he can't expect to live long--most of
them die at about thirty-five--but, for all that, he is happy and
contented. 'A short life and a merry one is what I goes in for,' he
often says to me, and he seems to think that his life is a merry one,
though I can't myself see where the merriment comes in. So with all the
rest of my people. They all seem to enjoy themselves except the Dwarf.
My own belief is that the organ of happiness has got to be pretty big to
get its work in, and that there ain't room in a Dwarfs head for it
to work.

"I had a Dwarf with me once--Major Microbe is what we called him on the
bills, where he was advertised as the 'Smallest Man in the World,'
which, of course, he wasn't; but, then, every Dwarf is always advertised
that way. It's a custom of the profession, and we don't consider it to
be lying, any more than a President considers the tough statements lying
that he makes in his annual message. A showman and a politician must be
allowed a little liberty of statement, or they couldn't carry on their
business. Well, as I was saying, thishyer Major Microbe was in my show a
matter of ten years ago, when we were in Cincinnati, and he was about as
vicious as they make them. The Giant, who was a good seven-footer,
working up to seven and a half feet, as an engineer might say, with the
help of his boots and helmet, was the exact opposite of the Dwarf in
disposition. He was altogether too good-tempered, for he was always
trying to play practical jokes on the other Freaks. He did this without
any notion of annoying them, but it was injudicious; he being, like all
other Giants, weak and brittle.