[Illustration: THE TUBER'S REPARTEE.

GERMAN PIRATE. "GOTT STRAFE ENGLAND!"

BRITISH POTATO. "TUBER ÜBER ALLES!"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Crowd_. "WOULD YER LIKE TO GO TO HORSPITAL?"--"SHALL I
GET YER A DROP OF BRANDY?"--"DID YER SLIP ON THE BANANA-PEEL?" "DID YER
FALL?"--"ARE YER HURT, SIR?"--"SHALL I FETCH A DOCTOR?"--"IS THAT YOUR
HAT, SIR?"

_Ex-Cabinet Minister_. "THE ANSWERS TO ONE, TWO, FIVE AND SIX ARE IN THE
NEGATIVE; TO THREE, FOUR AND SEVEN IN THE AFFIRMATIVE."]

* * * * *

THE MUD LARKS.

You have all seen it in the latest V.C. list--"The Reverend Paul Grayne,
Chaplain to the Forces, for conspicuous bravery and gallant example in
the face of desperate circumstances."

You have all pictured him, the beau-ideal of muscular Christian, the
Fighting Parson, eighteen hands high, terrific in wind and limb, with a
golden mane and a Greek profile; a Pekinese in the drawing-room, a
bull-dog in the arena; a soupçon of Saint FRANCIS with a dash of JOHN L.
SULLIVAN--and all that.