I forced my eye to scrutinize this prospect, I forced my mind to
dwell on it for a time, and when I found that it communicated no
pleasurable emotion to my heart--that it stirred in me none of
the hopes a man ought to feel, when he sees laid before him the
scene of his life's career--I said to myself, "William, you are a
rebel against circumstances; you are a fool, and know not what
you want; you have chosen trade and you shall be a tradesman.
Look!" I continued mentally--"Look at the sooty smoke in that
hollow, and know that there is your post! There you cannot dream,
you cannot speculate and theorize--there you shall out and
work!"

Thus self-schooled, I returned to the house. My brother was in
the breakfast-room. I met him collectedly--I could not meet him
cheerfully; he was standing on the rug, his back to the fire--how
much did I read in the expression of his eye as my glance
encountered his, when I advanced to bid him good morning; how
much that was contradictory to my nature! He said "Good morning"
abruptly and nodded, and then he snatched, rather than took, a
newspaper from the table, and began to read it with the air of a
master who seizes a pretext to escape the bore of conversing with
an underling. It was well I had taken a resolution to endure for
a time, or his manner would have gone far to render insupportable
the disgust I had just been endeavouring to subdue. I looked at
him: I measured his robust frame and powerful proportions; I saw
my own reflection in the mirror over the mantel-piece; I amused
myself with comparing the two pictures. In face I resembled him,
though I was not so handsome; my features were less regular; I
had a darker eye, and a broader brow--in form I was greatly