A VAINGLORIOUS COWARD IN COMMAND

Is one that hath bought his place, or come to it by some nobleman's
letter. He loves alive dead pays, yet wishes they may rather happen in
his company by the scurvy than by a battle. View him at a muster, and he
goes with such a nose as if his body were the wheelbarrow that carried
his judgment rumbling to drill his soldiers. No man can worse design
between pride and noble courtesy. He that salutes him not, so far as a
pistol carries level, gives him the disgust or affront, choose you
whether. He trains by the book, and reckons so many postures of the pike
and musket as if he were counting at noddy. When he comes at first upon
a camisado, he looks, like the four winds in painting, as if he would
blow away the enemy; but at the very first onset suffers fear and
trembling to dress themselves in his face apparently. He scorns any man
should take place before him, yet at the entering of a breach he hath
been so humble-minded as to let his lieutenant lead his troops for him.
He is so sure armed for taking hurt that he seldom does any; and while
he is putting on his arms, he is thinking what sum he can make to
satisfy his ransom. He will rail openly against all the great commanders
of the adverse party, yet in his own conscience allows them for better
men. Such is the nature of his fear that, contrary to all other filthy
qualities, it makes him think better of another man than himself. The
first part of him that is set a running is his eye-sight; when that is
once struck with terror all the costive physic in the world cannot stay
him. If ever he do anything beyond his own heart 'tis for a knighthood,
and he is the first kneels for it without bidding.