were only fit to make, a funeral feast, where men should eat their
victuals in mourning.



A SEXTON

Is an ill-wilier to human nature. Of all proverbs he cannot endure to
hear that which says, We ought to live by the quick, not by the dead. He
could willingly all his lifetime be confined to the churchyard; at
least, within five foot on't, for at every church stile commonly there's
an alehouse, where, let him be found never so idle-pated, he is still a
grave drunkard. He breaks his fast heartiest while he is making a grave,
and says the opening of the ground makes him hungry. Though one would
take him to be a sloven, yet he loves clean linen extremely, and for
that reason takes an order that fine Holland sheets be not made
worms'-meat. Like a nation called the Cusani, he weeps when any are born
and laughs when they die; the reason, he gets by burials not
christenings. He will hold an argument in a tavern over sack till the
dial and himself be both at a stand; he never observes any time but
sermon-time, and there he sleeps by the hour-glass. The ropemaker pays
him a pension, and he pays tribute to the physician; for the physician
makes work for the sexton, as the ropemaker for the hangman. Lastly, he
wishes the dog-days would last all year long; and a great plague is his
year of jubilee.



A JESUIT