of 'earing, insists that he is the man. As nothing will persuade
him that he is not, the Clerk of Assize leaves it to the warders to
decide which of the two is which. After all it is a small point.

The case is called on and WILLIAM is left in sole possession of the
dock. This is his moment, thinks he. With set features he stands
forward and assumes the most important attitude possible.

"Are you WILLIAM HOHENZOLLERN?" asks the Clerk of Assize.

There is a pause. "I am," says he.

Everyone turns to have a look at him. Feeling that he is thoroughly
impressing everyone WILLIAM fixes a commanding eye on the judge,
compelling, as he supposes, his utmost attention.

"Let's adjourn for lunch," says the judge....

When at last the case gets to its hearing (so far as anything at
all can be heard over the small talk in front of the dock and the
shuffle of impatient feet behind it) a novel point arises. A witness
refers to the War. "What war?" asks his Lordship. Counsel thinks
he can explain, but WILLIAM isn't for letting him. "Will you keep
silence?" says the Judge to WILLIAM. "You must call evidence to
prove that there was a war," he says to counsel.

WILLIAM faints upon realising that Armageddon, his masterpiece, was
such that judicial knowledge wasn't aware of it....

Witness after witness is called; barrister after barrister, in the