"By placing a lemon in the oven for a few minutes nearly the
entire pulp turns to juice. When next you want orange-juice try
this."--_Glasgow Citizen_.

But why not use an orange?

* * * * *

"As a woman married to an Army officer for nineteen years I do not
consider that I could possibly, on less than our present income,
provide my children and husband with the necessary education and
comfort."--_Letter in Daily Paper_.

Some husbands take a lot of educating.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Assistant Paymaster_, "HOW LONG WERE YOU IN YOUR LAST
JOB?" _"Hostilities Only" Man_. "THREE MONTHS, SIR." _A.P._ "WHAT WERE
YOU DOING?" _H.O.M._ "THREE MONTHS."]

* * * * *

THE MAN WHO STAYED AT HOME

(A SOLILOQUY AFTER A DAY'S WORK AT THE MINISTRY OF FOOD).

[Sir JOHN FIELD BEALE, formerly First Secretary of the Ministry of
Food, has been in consultation with the Supreme Council for Supply