"Oo! But how awfully cold-blooded. I thought you smiled to yourself
all the time you wrote it."

"My dear girl, it takes hours. If I smiled continually all that length
of time the top of my head would come off."

"Isn't it wonderful? Fancy building it all up from jottings on an old
envelope! What's that piece of paper you took out of the typed copy?"

"Oh, that's nothing to do with the literary side of it," I said,
crumpling up the little memorandum, which said that the Editor
presented compliments and regretted that he was unable to make
use of the enclosed contribution.

* * * * *

"Mr. Henderson ... was received with a cry of 'He is not on the
map now.'"--_Times_.

It is supposed that his supporter meant to say "not on the mat"--in
reference to an incident at the close of Mr. HENDERSON'S Ministerial
career. But many a true word is said in the Press by inadvertence.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE WAR AGAINST THE PUBLIC.

PROFITEERING HEN. "NOTHING DOING AT FIVEPENCE. BUT I MIGHT PERHAPS LAY
YOU ONE FOR NINEPENCE. WHAT! YOU THOUGHT THE WAR WAS OVER? NOT _MY_