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Autobiographical Sketches by Annie Wood Besant
page 113 of 213 (53%)
huge blunder. But all such feelings are poor and weak when compared with
the sinking of the heart, and the trembling of the knees, which, seize
upon the unhappy lecturer as he advances towards his first audience, and
as before his eyes rises a ghastly vision of a tongue-tied would-be
speaker facing rows of listening faces, listening to--silence.

All this miserable feeling, however, disappeared the moment I rose to my
feet and looked at the faces before me. No tremor of nervousness touched
me from the first word to the last. And a similar experience has been
mine ever since. I am still always nervous before a lecture, and feel
miserable and ill-assured, but, once on my feet, I am at my ease, and not
once on the platform after the lecture has commenced have I experienced
the painful feeling of hesitancy and "fear of the sound of my own voice"
of which I have often heard people speak.

The death of Mr. Charles Gilpin in September left vacant one of the seats
for Northampton, and Mr. Bradlaugh at once announced his intention of
again presenting himself to the constituency as a candidate. He had at
first stood for the borough in 1868, and had received 1086 votes; on
February 5th, 1874, he received 1653 votes, and of these 1060 were
plumpers; the other candidates were Messrs. Merewether, Phipps, Gilpin,
and Lord Henley; Mr. Merewether had 12 plumpers; Mr. Phipps, 113; Mr.
Gilpin, 64; Lord Henley, 21. Thus signs were already seen of the compact
and personally loyal following which was to win the seat for its chief in
1880, after twelve years of steady struggle. In 1868, Mr. John Stuart
Mill had strongly supported Mr. Bradlaugh's candidature, and had sent a
donation to his election fund. Mr. Mill wrote in his Autobiography (pp.
311,312):

"He had the support of the working classes; having heard him speak I knew
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