yesterday."--_Yorkshire Paper_.

Better than the middle of next week, anyhow.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Voice_. "IS THAT THE GREAT SOUTHERN RAILWAY?"

_Flapper_. "YES."

_Voice_. "ARE YOU THE PASSENGER DEPARTMENT?"

_Flapper_. "NO, I'M THE GOODS."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _The Village Oracle._ "YOU MARK MY WORDS--THESE 'ERE
GERMANS 'LL DO US DOWN AT THIS FINISH. THEY'LL PAY THE BLOOMIN' SIX
THOUSAND MILLIONS, OR WOTEVER IT IS, IN THREEPENNY BITS; AND THEN 'OO
THE 'ELL'S GOING TO COUNT IT?"]

* * * * *

"AS YOU WERE."

A MEMORY OF MI-CARÊME.

Chippo Munks is a regular time-serving soldier, as distinguished from
the amateurs who only joined the Army for the sake of a war. His company
conduct-sheet runs into volumes, and in peace-time they fix a special