"The King of Spades went his rounds, accompanied by the most eminent
architects and engineers of the day. He dug deeply into the secret
histories of the foundations of our national buildings, saw through the
_dis_orders of the egg-shell school of architecture, kept clear of the
tottering lath and plaster of some of the new buildings, acknowledging
that if such materials _did_ ever tumble down, it was a comfort to know
that they were considerably lighter than stone and cast iron. He felt a
great respect for such persons of rank as professed to be _supporters_ of
the drama, trusting that they would keep the ceilings of the theatres from
tumbling into the pits. He spent great part of his time in the Thames
Tunnel, and if he ever felt a doubt respecting the ultimate success of
that _under_taking, he did justice to the enterprise and skill of its
projector, that illustrious mole, and sincerely wished that zeal and
talent might ultimately be crowned with success. He took shares in many
mining speculations, and, in many instances, lived to repent it; for he
got into troubled waters, and sought for his _ore_ in vain. He attended
agricultural meetings, and endeavoured to comprehend that debatable query,
the corn question; he argued the point, like other great people, as if he
_did_ understand it, and got into repute with the leading Chiropodists, or
corn cutters, of the day. He went to Cheltenham, and became proprietor of
an acre of ground, on which he dug a score wells, and professed to find at
the bottom of each of them, a spring of water sufficiently saline to
pickle the constitutions of all valetudinarians. He was horticultural to a
most praiseworthy extent, offering prizes to the ingenious young Meadowses
who bring forth gigantic gooseberries, supernatural strawberries, and
miraculous melons. He went into the country, and endeavoured to penetrate
beyond the mere surface of things, listening to the speeches of county
members, and dining diligently in warm weather with mayors, and people
with _corporations_. He endeavoured to detect the root of all evil,
investigated the ramifications of radical reform, and exposed the