it; nothing visible but the line of the ramparts, whitened outside by
the moon. One knows what black and strange shadows are cast by the
moonlight; and it seemed to all of us that we did not know what might be
lurking behind every tree. The shadows of the branches looked like
terrible faces. I sent all my people out on the patrols, though they
were dropping with fatigue. Rather that than to be mad with terror. For
myself, I took up my post as near the bank of the river as we could
approach; for there was a limit beyond which we might not pass. I made
the experiment often; and it seemed to me, and to all that attempted it,
that we did reach the very edge of the stream; but the next moment
perceived that we were at a certain distance, say twenty metres or
thereabout. I placed myself there very often, wrapping a cloak about me
to preserve me from the dew. (I may say that food had been sent us, and
wine from La Clairière and many other houses in the neighbourhood, where
the women had gone for this among other reasons, that we might be
nourished by them.) And I must here relate a personal incident, though I
have endeavoured not to be egotistical. While I sat watching, I
distinctly saw a boat, a boat which belonged to myself, lying on the
very edge of the shadow. The prow, indeed, touched the moonlight where
it was cut clean across by the darkness; and this was how I discovered
that it was the Marie, a pretty pleasure-boat which had been made for my
wife. The sight of it made my heart beat; for what could it mean but
that some one who was dear to me, some one in whom I took an interest,
was there? I sprang up from where I sat to make another effort to get
nearer; but my feet were as lead, and would not move; and there came a
singing in my ears, and my blood coursed through my veins as in a fever.
Ah! was it possible? I, who am a man, who have resolution, who have
courage, who can lead the people, _I was afraid!_ I sat down again and
wept like a child. Perhaps it was my little Marie that was in the boat.
God, He knows if I loved thee, my little angel! but I was afraid. O how