The result of this was inevitable. He was dismissed with ignominy
from the Special Constables and was condemned to death, with a
recommendation to mercy, by a court-martial of the Kentish Fencibles.
His old friends among the Men of Kent cut him dead; the tradesmen of
his platoon refused to serve him. He had to leave Ramstairs and he
retired to Ealing. The catastrophe ruined his health. But he still
gets a little solace when, as he wipes the tears from his eyes after
reading the correspondence column of his penny paper, he sees upon his
waistcoat the crossed axes surmounted by a fire bucket, the emblem of
the Veterans' Fire Brigade.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Aunt (guardian of little nephew who has run away)_.
"EVERY COMFORT ALBERT 'AD--INCLUDIN' WHITE MICE IN 'IS BEDROOM."]

* * * * *

PARADISE REGAINED.

"Lady tired of her clothes wishes to sell them all very
cheaply."--_Pioneer (Allahabad)._
* * * * *

A STAYER.

"In this race County Cricket was left at least eight lengths and
yet managed to cover up ground and was only beaten by half a
week, greatest surprise to all those who noticed it."----_Bombay
Chronicle_.