On Britain's shores I turned my pack
And "somewhere" found a Front;

Said I; as in my tympanum
I heard the cannon's roar,
"'Twill be a wonder if I come
Impervious through the War."

Yet bomb, shell, bullet and grenade
Made no great hit with me;
And now I'm--well, I've just been paid
My war gratuity.

But at the sight of civil life,
If "life" it can be called,
With all its agonising strife,
I simply stand appalled.

And "Oh!" in utter fear I cry,
"How horrors never cease;
'Twill be a miracle if I
Ever survive the Peace."

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE PERIL WITHOUT.]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.