the most forlorn and distressed condition. I asked myself, what regard
have I had to God for his abundant mercies? Have I done my part_: He has
delivered me, but I have not glorified him:_--as if I had said, I had
not owned and been thankful for these as deliverances, and how could I
expect greater? So much did this sensibly touch my heart, that I gave
God thanks for my recovery from weakness in the most humble prostration.

_July_ 4. This morning I began seriously to ponder on what is written in
the New Testament, resolving to read a chapter every morning and night
as long an my thoughts would engage me. As soon as I set about this work
seriously, I found my heart deeply affected with the impiety of my past
life; these words that I thought were spoken to me in my dream revived,
_All these things have not brought thee to repentance._ After this, I
begged of God to assist me with his Holy Spirit in returning to my duty.
One day in perusing the Scriptures, I came to these words, _He is
exalted a Prince and a Saviour, to give repentance and to give
remission_: Immediately I laid down the book, and with uplifted hands to
Heaven, loudly cried, _O blessed Jesus, thou son of David, Jesus, thou
exalted Prince and Saviour, give we repentance!_ And now indeed I prayed
with a true sense of my condition, and a more certain hope, founded on
the word of God. Now I had a different sense of these words, _Call on me
and I will deliver thee_, that is from the dreadful load of guilt which
oppressed my sinful soul, and not from a solitary life, which might
rather be called, a blessing, seeing I wanted neither food nor raiment,
when compared living amongst the human race, surrounded with so much
oppression, misery, and affliction; in a word, I came to this
conclusion, that a deliverance from sin was a much greater blessing,
than a deliverance from affliction. But again I proceed to my journal.

To the 14th of _July_, I walked about with my gun, little and little at