'What gaed wrang?' inquired Macgregor, rubbing his eyes. 'Did she
no like yer treat?'

'I'll warrant she did!'

'What did ye buy her wi' the twa bob?'

Willie sniffed at his recollections. 'Like a ---- goat,' said he,
'I askit her what she wud like best for twa bob, me thinkin'
naterally she wud say a feed to stairt wi'. I was ready for a feed
masel'. But she squeezed ma airm an' shoved her big face intil
mines, an' said she wud like a sooveneer best. To blazes wi'
sooveneers! An' she dragged me awa' to a shop, an' I had to buy
her a silly-like wee tie that cost me eichteen-pence-ha'penny; an'
then she wanted a lang ride on the caur, an' that burst fivepence;
an' she nabbed the remainin' bawbee for a keepsake.' The reciter
paused as if from exhaustion.

'Hurry up!' said Macgregor encouragingly. 'What did she gi'e you?'

'A ---- kiss up a ---- close! To pot wi' kissin'! An' then she
said she was afraid her mither wud be waitin' the ham an' egg
supper for her, so she wud need to run, an' she was vexed she
couldna meet me again because she had been hearin' I was a terrible
bad character. An' then, takin' advantage o' ma surprise, she done
a bunk. . . . An' if ever I ha'e ony mair truck wi' weemen, may I
be ----'

'She wasna as saft as I fancied she was,' remarked Macgregor in an
uncertain voice. 'So ye wud jist gang to yer aunt's for yer