Revolution crushed entirely by your aid. At the crisis, General
Pompanilla read _all_ your published writings aloud to insurgent
chiefs. Effect was magical. They thought your prophecies _better than
ammunition_. Ha, ha! Their widows have fled the country. A pension
of a million _pesetas_ awarded to you. Rumours about my resignation
a mere blind. (_Signed_) Dr. Celman, _President_.

(II.) _BUENOS AYRES, MONDAY._

The traitor Celman has been vanquished, thanks to you. When ammunition
failed, we loaded with sporting prophecies. Very deadly. Treasury
cleared directly. One of your adjectives annihilated a brigade of
infantry.

(_Here follow the signatures of the Leaders of the Union Civica, to
the number of_ 5,000.)

(III.) _GUATEMALA, SUNDAY._

Victorious army of Guatemala sends thanks to its brave champion. Your
inspired writings have been set to music, and are sung as national
hymns. Effect on San Salvadorians terrible. Only two deaf sergeants
left alive. _Guerra, Vittoria Matador, Mantilla_.

(_Signed_) BARILLAS, _President_.

(IV.) _SAN SALVADOR, SUNDAY._

Land pirates from Guatemala foiled, owing to valiant English