But, in truth, I had no inclination to self-defence. My natural vivacity
had forsaken me, and I listened without interrupting him to the fluency
of reproachful language which his resentment inspired. He took a very
solemn and affectionate leave of my mamma, thanking her for her
politeness, and wishing her much future felicity. He attempted to
address me, I suppose, somewhat in the same way; but his sensibility
somewhat overcame him, and he only took my hand, and, bowing in silence,
departed.

The want of rest for two long nights together, the exercise of mind, and
conflict of passions which now tortured my breast, were too much for me
to support.

When I saw that he was gone, that he had actually forsaken me, I
fainted. My mamma, with the assistance of the maid, soon restored me.

When I opened my eyes and beheld this amiable and tender parent watching
and attending me with the most anxious concern, without one reproachful
word, without one accusing look, my reflections upon the part I had
acted, in defeating her benevolent wishes, were exquisitely afflictive.
But we mutually forbore to mention the occasion of my illness; and I
complied with her advice to take some refreshment, and retire to my
chamber. I am so much fatigued by the exertions of the day that rest is
absolutely necessary; and I lay aside my pen to seek it.

_Friday morning_.--When I shall again receive the balmy influence of
sleep, I know not. It has absolutely forsaken me at present. I have had
a most restless night. Every awakening idea presented itself to my
imagination; whether I had sustained a real loss in Mr. Boyer's