"It's no use, sir. It's no use."

"No use?" said the officer. "What do you mean? Haven't you washed that
Afghan yet?"

"It's no use, sir," the private repeated. "We've washed him for two
hours, but it's no use."

"How do you mean it's no use?" said the officer angrily.

"Why, sir," said the private, "after rubbin' him and scrubbin' him till
our arms ached I'll be hanged if we didn't come to another suit of
clothes."




BAZARS


Once upon a time a deacon who did not favor church bazars was going
along a dark street when a footpad suddenly appeared, and, pointing his
pistol, began to relieve his victim of his money.

The thief, however, apparently suffered some pangs of remorse. "It's
pretty rough to be gone through like this, ain't it, sir?" he inquired.

"Oh, that's all right, my man," the "held-up" one answered cheerfully.
"I was on my way to a bazar. You're first, and there's an end of it."