The farmer recognized John, his shepherd.

"It's you, John, is it? What on earth are you doing here this time o'
night?"

Another chuckle. "I'm a-coortin' Ann, zur."

"And so you've come courting with a lantern, you fool. Why I never took
a lantern when I courted your mistress."

"No, zur, you didn't, zur," John chuckled. "We can all zee you didn't,
zur."


The senator and the major were walking up the avenue. The senator was
more than middle-aged and considerably more than fat, and, dearly as the
major loved him, he also loved his joke.

The senator turned with a pleased expression on his benign countenance
and said, "Major, did you see that pretty girl smile at me?"

"Oh, that's nothing," replied his friend. "The first time I saw you I
laughed out loud!"--_Harper's Magazine_.


Pat, thinking to enliven the party, stated, with watch in hand: "I'll
presint a box of candy to the loidy that makes the homeliest face within
the next three minutes."

The time expired, Pat announced: "Ah, Mrs. McGuire, you get the prize."