"You have a fine signature, Mr. So-and-So."

"Yes," admitted the buyer, "I should have. One of my forefathers signed
the Declaration of Independence."

"So?" said the caller, with rising inflection. And then he added:

"Vell, you aind't got nottings on me. One of my forefathers signed the
Ten Commandments."


In a speech in the Senate on Hawaiian affairs, Senator Depew of New York
told this story:

When Queen Liliuokalani was in England during the English queen's
jubilee, she was received at Buckingham Palace. In the course of the
remarks that passed between the two queens, the one from the Sandwich
Islands said that she had English blood in her veins.

"How so?" inquired Victoria.

"My ancestors ate Captain Cook."


Signor Marconi, in an interview in Washington, praised American
democracy.

"Over here," he said, "you respect a man for what he is himself--not for
what his family is--and thus you remind me of the gardener in Bologna