details of a bloody battle, a woman said to her husband:

"This slaughter is shocking. It's fiendish. Can nothing he done to stop
it?"

"I'm afraid not," her husband answered.

"Why don't both sides come together and arbitrate?" she cried.

"They did," said he. "They did, 'way back in June. That's how the
gol-durned thing started."




ARITHMETIC


"He seems to be very clever."

"Yes, indeed, he can even do the problems that his children have to work
out at school."


SONNY--"Aw, pop, I don't wanter study arithmetic."

POP--"What! a son of mine grow up and not he able to figure up baseball
scores and batting averages? Never!"