"'Yep,' said the captain.

"'Darn it all,' said Bill. 'No wonder I couldn't get an answer. Here
I've been figuring on salmon all the time.'"




ARMIES


A new volunteer at a national guard encampment who had not quite learned
his business, was on sentry duty, one night, when a friend brought a pie
from the canteen.

As he sat on the grass eating pie, the major sauntered up in undress
uniform. The sentry, not recognizing him, did not salute, and the major
stopped and said:

"What's that you have there?"

"Pie," said the sentry, good-naturedly. "Apple pie. Have a bite?"

The major frowned.

"Do you know who I am?" he asked.

"No," said the sentry, "unless you're the major's groom."

The major shook his head.