The House of Dust; a symphony by Conrad Potter Aiken
page 86 of 106 (81%)
page 86 of 106 (81%)
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What do you know of me, or I of you? . . .
Little enough. . . .We set these doors ajar Only for chosen movements of the music: This passage, (so I think--yet this is guesswork) Will please him,--it is in a strain he fancies,-- More brilliant, though, than his; and while he likes it He will be piqued . . . He looks at me bewildered And thinks (to judge from self--this too is guesswork) The music strangely subtle, deep in meaning, Perplexed with implications; he suspects me Of hidden riches, unexpected wisdom. . . . Or else I let him hear a lyric passage,-- Simple and clear; and all the while he listens I make pretence to think my doors are closed. This too bewilders him. He eyes me sidelong Wondering 'Is he such a fool as this? Or only mocking?'--There I let it end. . . . Sometimes, of course, and when we least suspect it-- When we pursue our thoughts with too much passion, Talking with too great zeal--our doors fly open Without intention; and the hungry watcher Stares at the feast, carries away our secrets, And laughs. . . .but this, for many counts, is seldom. And for the most part we vouchsafe our friends, Our lovers too, only such few clear notes As we shall deem them likely to admire: 'Praise me for this' we say, or 'laugh at this,' Or 'marvel at my candor'. . . .all the while Withholding what's most precious to ourselves,-- |
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