WILL HAVE HIS COW SHOT.

* * * * *

"Express Train to the Orient.

The itinerary will include London, Paris, Vallorbe, Lausanne,
the Simpleton, Milan, Trieste and beyond. The first train is
fixed to leave Paris on April 15."--_Provincial Paper_.

"All Fools' Day" would have been more appropriate for the "Simpleton"
route.

* * * * *

The following advertisement appeared in a French provincial paper:--

"TAKE KÈRE!

Ask always the interchanging thooth made by this inventors in
this mastery. The interchanging tooth is able for any people
and it is very good and not dear.

The imperfections of the mouth, resulting of a bad dentition,
are stricken away by the application of the interchanging
Thooth. That toolh it is not expensive and you can changed
in five minutes if it broked.

Gives you all guarontees of perfect natural immitation.
ENGLISH SPOKEN."