"Or why not pay at the barrier, if you _must_ pay?"

"Yes, and lose the return ticket rate. How should I get down
to-night?"

"That's easy. Buy a platform ticket. The man at the gate at home will
pass you; he knows you."

"All underhand work," said Cozens. "It's much more dignified to buy a
ticket."

Just then a travelling inspector entered our carriage.

"Tickets, gentlemen, please!"

And Cozens, looking supremely undignified, produced a third-class
return, and tried to explain.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Little Girl_ (_reading poster_). "OH, MUMMY, ISN'T
THAT VULGAR? OUGHTN'T THEY TO PUT 'PERSPIRED LABOUR'?"]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

(_BY MR. PUNCH'S STAFF OF LEARNED CLERKS_.)

MR. COMPTON MACKENZIE gives us in _Sylvia and Michael_ (SECKER) a