To justify myself for what my better judgment has often seemed to be
essentially irrational, I have ever made sundry excuses." "Others have
doubtless other difficulties, but mine is chiefly, I think, that of an
undue regard to reason as against heart and will--undue, I mean, if so
it be that Christianity is true, and the conditions to faith in it have
been of divine ordination."

In time he tired of the husks of materialism and started back to his
Father's house. It was a weary journey but as he plodded along, his
appreciation of the heart's part increased until, on pages 152 and 153,
he says, "It is a fact that we all feel the intellectual part of man to
be 'higher' than the animal, whatever our theory of his origin. It is
a fact that we all feel the moral part of man to be 'higher' than the
intellectual, whatever our theory of either may be. It is also a fact
that we all similarly feel the spiritual to be 'higher' than the moral,
whatever our theory of religion may be. It is what we understand
by man's moral, and still more his spiritual, qualities that go to
constitute character. And it is astonishing how in all walks of life it
is character that tells in the long run."

On page 150 he answered Huxley's attack on faith. He says, "Huxley,
in 'Lay Sermons,' says that faith has been proved a 'cardinal sin' by
science. Now this is true enough of credulity, superstition, etc., and
science has done no end of good in developing our ideas of method,
evidence, etc. But this is all on the side of intellect. 'Faith' is
not touched by such facts or considerations. And what a terrible hell
science would have made of the world, if she had abolished the 'spirit
of faith,' even in human relations."

In the days of his apostasy he "took it for granted," he says on page