"Supper being removed, wine was introduced; and I had the honour of
pouring out a glass of port to Miss Snooks. She thanked me with an
inclination of her head--or rather of her nose--and drank to my health,
and to that of the rest of the company. While performing the process of
drinking, I could not help gazing upon her, to see how so very remarkable
a person would go to work. The peak of her nose actually dipped down over
the farthest rim of the glass--spanning it as a rainbow spans the Vale of
Glengarry, while the 'limpid ruby' rolled in currents within the embrace
of her delighted lips. The more I gazed upon her, the greater did my
surprise at this extraordinary feature become.

"It is unnecessary to detail at length, the conversation which ensued. It
was tolerably connected, as might be looked for in so small a company,
seldom, branching out into miscellaneous details, and turning chiefly upon
literary matters. But I found it impossible to join in it with any degree
of relish. In vain did my opposite neighbour call up before my imagination
the scenes of my birthplace; in vain did our landlord crack his jokes--for
he was a great humourist--and rally me upon my dulness; in vain did he
allege that I was in love, and good-naturedly fix upon two or three girls
as the objects of my affections. Worthy man! little did he imagine that I
was in love with his cousin's nose.

"In love, yes! I bore the same love towards it, that the squirrel bears to
the rattlesnake--when it gets fascinated by the burning eyeballs, horrid
fangs, and forked tongue of its crawling, slimy, and execrable foe.
Mistake me not, sir, or suppose that I mean to insinuate that Miss Snooks
was a rattlesnake. No; the reasoning is purely analogical; and I only wish
it to be inferred that _that_ nose, humped like a dromedary--prominent as
Cape Wrath--nobler than Cæsar's, or the great captain's--had precisely the
same influence on me as the envenomed Python of the American woods has