surely show his contempt less crudely. KIPLING, I love thee, but never
more write such another tale!

* * * * *

[Illustration: INFELICITOUS QUOTATIONS.

_Hostess_. "WON'T YOU TRY SOME OF THAT JELLY, HERR SILBERMUND?"

_Herr Silbermund_ (_who has just been helped to Pudding_). "ACH, ZANK
YOU, NO. I VOOT 'RAHZER PEAR VIZ ZE ILLS VE HAF, ZAN VLY TO OZZERS ZAT
VE KNOW NOT OF.'" [_Herr S. is particularly proud of his knowledge of
Shakspeare._]]

* * * * *

"WORSE THAN EVER!"

FARMER SMITH _LOQUITUR_:--

"To market, to market, to buy a fat pig!"
Yes, so runs the old-fashioned nursery rhyme,
And a porker that's plump, and round-barrel'd and big,
Is good business,--or used to be once on a time.
But now, they're the horriblest nuisance on earth
Are Pigs, and a great deal more plague than they're worth.

I begin to believe 'twould be better by far
If Pigs, like the Dodo, extinct could become.
They involve one in nothing but jangle and jar,