"Are you asleep, BUCHANAN?" inquired ARCHER. This is the first
sentence of a shilling novel, by BUTIFFE SKOTTOWE, with a very
sensational picture on the cover. I "read no more that day," but
closed the book, dreading lest, of the two figures on the thrilling
frontispiece, one should be _the_ BUCHANAN, and the other _the_ only
ARCHER in the world of Ibsenish proclivities.

THE BARON DE BOOK-WORMS & CO.

* * * * *

STRUCTURAL IMPROVEMENTS IN A THEATRE.--Mr. NORMAN FORBES opens the
Globe. The seats are so constructed, that they can be taken outside
the theatre. Also, any person who has purchased a numbered seat need
not come to the theatre to occupy it. The seats are so made as to be
equally comfortable for big and little persons--for the former, they
can be let out.

* * * * *

A CRY FROM THE CINDER-PATH.

DEAR MR. PUNCH,

I must appeal to you, the unimpeachable Cæsar, in athletics as in all
other matters, to secure me some small meed of public sympathy and
consideration. During the, happily, almost past year, I have been the
victim of gross ill-treatment at the hands, nay, worse, the feet, of
athletes of various kinds. I have been cut in public by some of the
best performers; I have been mercilessly beaten, and persistently