have too good grounds for an unfavorable opinion. I shall not, however,
attempt to justify myself, until I have explained to you the reasons why my
apologies should be accepted. I must tell you that from the time I left
Augsburg[1] my cheerfulness, as well as my health, began to decline; the
nearer I came to my native city, the more frequent were the letters from my
father, urging me to travel with all possible speed, as my mother's health
was in a most precarious condition. I therefore hurried forwards as fast as
I could, although myself far from well. My longing once more to see my
dying mother overcame every obstacle, and assisted me in surmounting the
greatest difficulties. I found my mother indeed still alive, but in the
most deplorable state; her disease was consumption, and about seven weeks
ago, after much pain and suffering, she died [July 17]. She was indeed a
kind, loving mother to me, and my best friend. Ah! who was happier than I,
when I could still utter the sweet name of mother, and it was heard? But to
whom can I now say it? Only to the silent form resembling her, evoked by
the power of imagination. I have passed very few pleasant hours since my
arrival here, having during the whole time been suffering from asthma,
which may, I fear, eventually turn to consumption; to this is added
melancholy,--almost as great an evil as my malady itself. Imagine yourself
in my place, and then I shall hope to receive your forgiveness for my long
silence. You showed me extreme kindness and friendship by lending me three
Carolins in Augsburg, but I must entreat your indulgence for a time. My
journey cost me a great deal, and I have not the smallest hopes of earning
anything here. Fate is not propitious to me in Bonn. Pardon my intruding on
you so long with my affairs, but all that I have said was necessary for my
own justification.

I do entreat you not to deprive me of your valuable friendship; nothing do
I wish so much as in any degree to become worthy of your regard. I am, with
all esteem, your obedient servant and friend,