life will it be!!! Whereas now!! without you!! and persecuted by the
kindness of others, which I neither deserve nor try to deserve! The
servility of man towards his fellow-man pains me, and when I regard myself
as a component part of the universe, what am I, what is he who is called
the greatest?--and yet herein are displayed the godlike feelings of
humanity!--I weep in thinking that you will receive no intelligence from me
till probably Saturday. However dearly you may love me, I love you more
fondly still. Never conceal your feelings from me. Good-night! As a patient
at these baths, I must now go to rest [a few words are here effaced by
Beethoven himself]. Oh, heavens! so near, and yet so far! Is not our love a
truly celestial mansion, but firm as the vault of heaven itself?

July 7.

GOOD-MORNING!

Even before I rise, my thoughts throng to you, my immortal
beloved!--sometimes full of joy, and yet again sad, waiting to see whether
Fate will hear us. I must live either wholly with you, or not at all.
Indeed I have resolved to wander far from you [see No. 13] till the moment
arrives when I can fly into your arms, and feel that they are my home, and
send forth my soul in unison with yours into the realm of spirits. Alas! it
must be so! You will take courage, for you know my fidelity. Never can
another possess my heart--never, never! Oh, heavens! Why must I fly from
her I so fondly love? and yet my existence in W. was as miserable as here.
Your love made me the most happy and yet the most unhappy of men. At my
age, life requires a uniform equality; can this be found in our mutual
relations? My angel! I have this moment heard that the post goes every day,
so I must conclude, that you may get this letter the sooner. Be calm! for
we can only attain our object of living together by the calm contemplation