You should then see me as happy as I am ever destined to be here below--not
unhappy. No! that I could not endure; I will boldly meet my fate, never
shall it succeed in crushing me. Oh! it is so glorious to live one's life a
thousand times over! I feel that I am no longer made for a quiet existence.
You will write to me as soon as possible? Pray try to prevail on Steffen
[von Breuning] to seek an appointment from the Teutonic Order somewhere.
Life here is too harassing for his health; besides, he is so isolated that
I do not see how he is ever to get on. You know the kind of existence here.
I do not take it upon myself to say that society would dispel his
lassitude, but he cannot be persuaded to go anywhere. A short time since, I
had some music in my house, but our friend Steffen stayed away. Do
recommend him to be more calm and self-possessed, which I have in vain
tried to effect; otherwise he can neither enjoy health nor happiness. Tell
me in your next letter whether you care about my sending you a large
selection of music; you can indeed dispose of what you do not want, and
thus repay the expense of the carriage, and have my portrait into the
bargain. Say all that is kind and amiable from me to Lorchen, and also to
mamma and Christoph. You still have some regard for me? Always rely on the
love as well as the friendship of your

BEETHOVEN.

[Footnote 1: "Too much sleep is hurtful" is marked by a thick score in the
Odyssey (45, 393) by Beethoven's hand. See Schindler's _Beethoven's
Nachlass_.]


19.

TO KAPELLMEISTER HOFMEISTER,--LEIPZIG.[1]