'Twould be amusing to discover
If she had really turned your head,
And in her lawyer found a lover.
Yet even should this be the case,
You cannot well escape supporting
This statement--that it's not the place
In open Court to go a-courting.

When next a lady comes to say
That He and She at last have parted,
And that she'll make the villain pay
For having left her broken-hearted,
You'll recollect that in the Breach
Of Promise Case, you must not blunder,
But mention in your opening speech
That at his love you _do not wonder_.

* * * * *

[Illustration: RECOGNITION OF MERIT.

_The M Dougall, L.C.C._ (_to Cambridge Don_). "WELL DONE! THE SPINSTER
TO THE SPINNING HOUSE! You ARE INDEED A PROCTOR AND A BROTHER!"]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

_The Quiet Mrs. Fleming_ is very nearly being a good novel of the kind
with which "once upon a time" Mr. F.C. PHILIPS used to delight us. Mr.