'Ang Science! Ile lamps and old Charlies--bless 'em!--
Wos good for trade, _our_ trade. Ah! if my dad
Could see 'ow Larnin', Law, and Light oppress 'em,
Our good old cracksmen-gangs, he'd go stark mad.
As for the _Hartful Dodger_ and old _Fagin_,
Ah! they're well hout of it. Wot could they do
With Science and her bloomin' fireworks plaguin'
Their hartfullest little games the whole Town through?

Our only 'ope, my NAN, is in the Noodles,
There's still some left in London I'll be bound.
To lurk a crib, prig wipes, sneak ladies' poodles,
Gits 'arder every day; we're watched all round.
Many a programme wot looks vastly pooty,
Mucked by the mugs, leads on to wus and wus.
But if they _do_ light up the dim, cramped, sooty.
Gog-ruled old Town--_wot's_ to become of _hus_?

* * * * *

MOST APPROPRIATE.--The Bishop of DURHAM has appointed Mr. T.
DIBDIN Chancellor of the Diocese of Durham. He already holds the
Chancellorships of Exeter and Rochester. Three Chancellorships, all
on the high sees too! "THOMAS DIBDIN" is the right man in the right
place.

* * * * *

PROVERB "UP TO DATE."--"Cumming events cast their shadows before." And