education--you have acquired accomplishments.

_Witness_. Yes, my Lord and Gentlemen; but, believe me, they are
valueless. I am an excellent violinist, but there is no room for me at
the theatres. It is true I might, by paying my footing, secure a place
in a strolling band, consisting of a harp and a cornet, but I have
conscientious scruples against earnings gained at the doors of a
public-house.

_Chairman_. Certainly. Besides, I fancy you make too light of the
difficulties of securing such a position. A Witness, who gave very
much the same evidence as yourself, declared it was impossible to gain
admission even to a German Band. But you have learned drawing?

_Witness_. Yes; but I find the accomplishment valueless as a
bread-winner. I would do pastels on the flag-stones were not the
supply of artists in this particular line greatly in excess of the
demand. Besides, the police move them on.

_Chairman_. Well, my lad, what can you do for yourself?

_Witness_. Nothing; and consequently, my Lord and Gentlemen, I hope
you will do something for me.

_Chairman_ (_after consultation with his colleagues_). As you have
been educated up to a point rendering you valueless at fourteen,
we shall have much pleasure in recommending that your studies be
continued until your education will be equally valueless at nineteen.
If this scheme does nothing else, it will keep you employed for the
next five years! [_Scene closes in upon the Report._