SYNTAX FOR CYNICS 205

THE TRUTH AT LAST 209

FIXED IDEAS 211

TRIALS OF A PRESIDENT TRAVELLING ABROAD 215

DIARY OF A PUBLISHER'S OFFICE BOY 217

THE DOG'S COMMANDMENTS 219

THE VALUE OF CRITICISM 221

A MARRIAGE SERVICE FOR COMMUTERS 224

THE SUNNY SIDE OF GRUB STREET 226

BURIAL SERVICE FOR A NEWSPAPER JOKE 236

ADVICE TO THOSE VISITING A BABY 238

ABOU BEN WOODROW 240

MY MAGNIFICENT SYSTEM 242

LETTERS TO CYNTHIA

1 IN PRAISE OF BOOBS 245