To your charms that compels me to let them alone.
But if with reports I am still to be harried,
I've thoroughly made up my mind what to do;
Just to settle it all, I shall shortly be married,
I shall shortly be married, but not--_not_ to you.

* * * * *

"WHO BREAKS PAYS."--"In some large restaurants," says the _Daily
Chronicle_, "the girls engaged have to pay for the breakages which
occur in the course of carrying on a business in which they are not
partners." If the maxim at the head of this paragraph were strictly
and impartially enforced, such exacting employers would have to
pay pretty smartly for certain "breakages" which occur in the
carrying on of a business in which they consider _they_ have no
concern--breakages, to wit, of the girls' health, spirits, and, often,
hearts!

* * * * *

MODERN VERSION OF "WISE MEN OF THE EAST."--The Congress of
Orientalists.

* * * * *

NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS.,
Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no
case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed
Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.