annex the whole of the elevated plateaus known as the Pamirs, and all
parts of Afghanistan north of a straight line drawn from Lake Victoria
to the junction of the Kotcha River with the Oxus." JOHN BULL might
say, "I should like to Kotcha at it!"

* * * * *

SOME LONDON "FIENDS."

(_HOW TO EXORCISE, AFTER READING CORRESPONDENCE ON THE SUBJECT IN
SEVERAL "DAILIES."_)

_THE "WALKING-STICK AND UMBRELLA FIEND."_

[Illustration]

Provide yourself with a steel-plated umbrella (carriage size), with
a "non-conducting" handle. When open in a shower, where people are
hurrying, let the framework bristle with sharp penknife points. Held
firmly in front of you, you will find everyone get out of your way.
In entering a crowded omnibus or railway carriage, by touching a knob,
let the heat generated by the electric current instantly cause the
whole to become "red-hot." Dexterously moved about in front of you,
you will find this a most thoroughly protecting weapon, clearing
instantly a large space on each side of you, and even sometimes
involving the summoning of the conductor or guard, with a view to your
removal either to another compartment, or even a general request for
your expulsion from the vehicle altogether. This may lead possibly to
your enjoyment of an entire compartment to yourself; for, of course,
you will point out that you cannot be expected to travel without your