Applied to Drapery----"

_Note by the Agonised Editor_ (_who has been struggling with MS. for
several hours_). "And he _did_ let me have it, with a vengeance!"

* * * * *

[Illustration: A SCENE AT THE "LUCULLUS."

_Mrs. Blunderby_. "Now, MY DEAR MONTY, LET ME ORDER THE LUNCHEON
AR-LA-FRAINGSY. GASSONG! I WISH TO BEGIN--AS WE ALWAYS DO IN PARIS, MY
DEARS--WITH SOME _CHEF-D'OEUVRES_--YOU UNDERSTAND--SOME _CHEF-D'OEUVRES."_

[_Emile, the Waiter, is in despair. It occurs to him however, presently that
the Lady probably means "Hors d'oeuvres," and acts accordingly_.]

* * * * *

LIGHT CONDUCT IN HEAVENLY BODIES.

[Illustration]

DEAR MR. EDITOR,

What on earth, or rather what in the starry Heavens' name is the meaning of
this heading to a paragraph in the _Times_ of Tuesday, Nov. 3:--

"APPARENT DUPLICITY OF JUPITER'S SATELLITE No. 1."

Except that the stars are given to wink, I have never before heard of the