Spills Manufacturing Co. stock was a splendid investment. Acting on
this, I bought. From that moment, Spills have fallen steadily. Kindly
explain.

Yours,

INDIGNANT.

[To this I can only answer, that the complaint is ludicrous, and
preposterous. If you had bought on the day I advised, and sold out ten
minutes afterwards, you would have realised a handsome profit of one
farthing a share. Moreover, how can anything fall steadily? I never
did, which shows what a fool "INDIGNANT" must be.

CROESUS.]

(2.) SIR,--I send £22,000 19s. 8¾d., which I wish tied up as tightly
as possible in the Unlimited Packthread Stock Company, which you say
is as safe as a house. Let me know which particular house you mean.
The money belongs (or belonged) to my Maiden Aunt.

Yours sincerely,

BALIK RASH.

[Consider it done, my dear Sir; consider it done. I return the three
farthings, for which I have no possible use. The rest is invested.
Transfers await your signature at my new office.

CROESUS.]