_Ag._ (_going out_). In what you say not nothing I perceive.
Women, in hunting cheapness, capture costs.

CHORUS. STROPHE.

The puny race of men
Soars, in imagination, to the skies;
While tackling Science and Theosophy
Their hands the coal-scoop grasp!

CHORUS. ANTISTROPHE.

From high Olympus Zeus
Smiles at the perjuries of coal-heavers.
Not always is the cheapest article
The one that turns out best.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THINGS ONE WOULD WISH TO HAVE EXPRESSED DIFFERENTLY.

"WELL, GOOD-BYE, MISS SMITH. TELL THE OTHERS I WAS VERY SORRY NOT TO
FIND ANYONE AT HOME--A--A--A--EXCEPT YOU--A!"]

* * * * *

A BOARD-SCHOOL CHRISTMAS.

(_AN ANTICIPATION OF THE NOT VERY DISTANT FUTURE._)