board? I shall have a short tale to tell, instead of a long tail to
show. And the wife of my busum to do this! Well, I married too high, and
now my pride is laid low. Jack, never marry a lady's ladies' maid; for
it appears that the longer the names the more venomous the cattle be."

Just as he had finished I heard my mother coming downstairs with
Virginia, whom she had taken up and dressed, to take away with her.
"Hush!" I heard her softly say to Virginia, "don't speak, dear, or
you'll wake your naughty father."

She had hardly said this when she made her appearance, with Virginia on
one arm and a large bundle on the other. But as soon as she perceived
that my father was awake, and cognizant of her revenge, she uttered a
loud scream, dropped Virginia and the bundle, and, running upstairs to
her own room, locked herself in.

Poor little Virginia set up a roar at this very unusual (and I believe
felonious) act of child-dropping on the part of my mother. I ran to her,
and carried her to the sofa, while my father, with compressed lips,
first taking two or three quarter-deck strides up and down the room,
locked the street door, put the key in his pocket, and then ascended the
stairs to pay a visit to my mother, who, I believe, would very willingly
have been "not at home"; but some people are importunate, and will take
no refusal; and, when my father retired three or four steps from the
door, and with a sudden run brought the whole weight of his foot to bear
upon it, it flew open. At first my mother was not visible, my father
thought she had escaped; but at last he spied her legs under the bed.
Seizing her by her extremities, he dragged her out, without any regard
to propriety, until he had her into the middle of the room with his foot
upon her. What a situation for a lady's ladies' maid! I had put Virginia