Hurray!

_In. For._ Why, what is the news?

_Com. Gen. (excitedly)._ Splendid! The Great Powers of Europe have
simultaneously declared war against us! This will be grand!

_In. For. (in a tone of deep commiseration)._ My poor fellow, this means
ruin!

_Com. Gen._ Ruin! Rot! (_Through telephone._) All right, will start
to-night, and should be in Paris by Thursday, and at St. Petersburg at
latest by the end of week. We can take Vienna and Berlin on our way home! I
will be with the men at Portsmouth within an hour. Never mind our baggage;
send it on afterwards.

_In. For. (astounded)._ But what are you going to do?

_Com. Gen. (with determination)._ Going to do! Why give them another
thrashing! By-by, no time for talking! See you again soon!

[_Exit hurriedly to beat the foe, and, strange to say, the object is
subsequently attained--somehow!_

* * * * *

AN ANTI-ONIONIST LIBERAL.--Mr. LEAKE lately made a radically plucky speech,
and is in future to be known in the North as Cocky Leakey.

* * * * *