[Illustration: Only in Play!]

"_GUILLAUME DEUX_," says the _Figaro_, "_prend très au sérieux sa tâche de
moralisateur._" He is his own Licenser of plays, and, it may be presumed,
collars the fees for doing the official Licenser's work; that is, if there
be a department of this nature in the Lord Chamberlain's Office. And His
Imperial Highhandedness not only is his own licenser, but is a
self-appointed Stage-Manager, for, continues the _Figaro_, "_Il a préscrit
que, dans une pièce moderne, LE NOUVEAU MAITRE, une scène un peu violente
ne fût pas jouée à l'avant-scène, mais au fond du théâtre._" If His
Imperial Majesty should permit some of IBSEN'S plays to be performed,
_Ghosts_ for example, or _Hedda Gabler_, no doubt most of the dialogue
would be given right at the back of the stage, out of ear-shot of the
audience. In ordinary dramas the Villain who may have to use strong
language, or in farce the Eccentric Comedian who frequently has to utter
more or less playfully a meaningless "big big D," would by Imperial command
be compelled to "retire up" to deliver himself of the expletive, and then
would have to "come down to the front" and continue the stage-business.
But, not satisfied with merely giving the above stage-directions, His
Imperial Majesty "_est allé samedi s'assurer en personne que ses ordres
étaient bien exécutés._" No dodging such an Emperor as this. How would Herr
Von IRVING and Herr TOOLE like this personal supervision? And how about
Herren JONES, PINERO, W.S. GILBERT and a few others, who would not
particularly enjoy having their stage-directions upset by even an Imperial
amateur. The next move of GUILLAUME DEUX will be to make himself honorary
prompter, and it may be to cast himself for the leading parts.

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OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.