The Other Man.

Farewell to Love! I thought I'd try
My level best to get a post;
The salary was not too high,
Two hundred pounds a-year at most.

Committeemen in conclave sat,
Their questions all were cut and dried:
Oh, was I this? And did I that?
And twenty thousand things beside--

As did I smoke? and could I play
At golf? or did I get the gout?
And--most important--could I say
My mother knew that I was out?

Then two were chosen. Should I "do"?
Perhaps!--and, just as I began
To hope, of course they gave it to
The Other Man.

All uselessly I've learnt to swear
And use expressions that are vile;
In vain, in vain I've torn my hair
In quite the most artistic style.

Yet one thing would I gladly learn--
Yes, tell me quickly, if you can--
Shall I be also, in my turn,