In times like these, dine out reglar either two or three times a week,
and drink generusly, but wisely, not too well, and on receiving the
accustomed At, think of the ard times the pore Waiter has had to pass
through lately, and dubble, or ewen tribbel the accustumd Fee. You'll
never miss it, but, on the contrairy, will sleep all the sounder for
it.

Never read no accounts in Noosepapers of hillnesses and sich-like,
and keep a few little sixpences in your ticket pocket; then if a pore
woman arsks you if you have a penny to spare, say no, but praps this
will do as well, and give her a sixpence, and then see her look of
estonished rapcher, aye, and ewen share it to some small degree.

Check a frown, and encouridge a smile, and the one will wanish away,
and the other dewelope into a larf. Let your principle virtues be
ginerosity and ope, and allers look on the brite side of ewerythink,
as the Miller said to the Sweep.

ROBERT.

* * * * *

A HUMAN PARADOX.--The man who gives away his friends without losing
them.

* * * * *

NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS.,
Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no
case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed