Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 102, April 30, 1892 by Various
page 37 of 46 (80%)
page 37 of 46 (80%)
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"THE (SOLDIERS') LIFE WE LIVE."
(_Imaginary Evidence that should be added to the Report of Lord Wantage's Committee._) _Chairman._ I think your name is RICHARD REDMOND? _Witness._ I beg pardon, my Lord and Gentlemen--DICK REDMOND--simple, gushing, explosive DICK. _Chair._ Have you been known by any other name? _Wit._ Off duty, my Lord, I have been called CHARLES WARNER. Nay, why should I not confess it?--CHARLIE WARNER. Yes, my Lord, CHARLIE WARNER! _Chair._ You wish to describe how you were enlisted? _Wit._ Yes, my Lord. It was in this way. I had returned from some races in a dog-cart with a villain. We stopped at a wayside public-house kept by a comic Irishman. _Chair._ Are these details necessary? _Wit._ Hear me, my Lord; hear me! I confess it, I took too much to drink. Yes, my Lord, I was drunk! And then a Sergeant in the Dragoon Guards gave me a shilling, and placed some ribands in my pot-hat, and--well--I was a soldier! Yes, a soldier! And as a soldier was refused permission to visit my dying mother! |
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