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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 102, April 30, 1892 by Various
page 37 of 46 (80%)
"THE (SOLDIERS') LIFE WE LIVE."

(_Imaginary Evidence that should be added to the Report of Lord
Wantage's Committee._)

_Chairman._ I think your name is RICHARD REDMOND?

_Witness._ I beg pardon, my Lord and Gentlemen--DICK REDMOND--simple,
gushing, explosive DICK.

_Chair._ Have you been known by any other name?

_Wit._ Off duty, my Lord, I have been called CHARLES WARNER. Nay,
why should I not confess it?--CHARLIE WARNER. Yes, my Lord, CHARLIE
WARNER!

_Chair._ You wish to describe how you were enlisted?

_Wit._ Yes, my Lord. It was in this way. I had returned from
some races in a dog-cart with a villain. We stopped at a wayside
public-house kept by a comic Irishman.

_Chair._ Are these details necessary?

_Wit._ Hear me, my Lord; hear me! I confess it, I took too much to
drink. Yes, my Lord, I was drunk! And then a Sergeant in the Dragoon
Guards gave me a shilling, and placed some ribands in my pot-hat,
and--well--I was a soldier! Yes, a soldier! And as a soldier was
refused permission to visit my dying mother!

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