Though some one else, perhaps, may write, and say he can't abide them,
When Apollo stands in trousers, or when Venus wears a skirt.

* * * * *

FROM ROBERT.--"Sir, I'm proud of my furrin co-profeshunal LHÉROT, the
himminint Waiter, wot nobbled the bomb-ta-ra (hif I may so igspress my
sentimenx) waggybun, RAVACHOL. This Waiter is wot my french frend calls a
'_Tray bong Gassong_,' and the wunnerful manner the french Waiters has of
carryin a tray loded with drinkabels is worthy of the hippythep. He sez
orlso has is name, hinsted of LHÉROT, ort to be andid down to posterittory
as 'L'HÉROS'--wich word as rote down by hisself means 'The Hero.' He got a
1000 Franks, wich is rayther more nor wos ever got by one BOB."

* * * * *

[Illustration: A WAITING GAME.

THE OLD KEEPER. "GENTLY! GENTLY!--MY BEAUTY! I'LL SAY '_WHEN_'!"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: REALLY PLEASANT!

SIX MILES FROM HOME, HORSE DEAD LAME, AWFULLY TENDER FEET, AND HORRIBLY
TIGHT BOOTS.]

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH'S BOAT-RACE NOVEL.