TO THE GRAND OLD TORY.

(_BY THE WIFE OF A DISSENTING CUMBRIAN WORKMAN_.)

O WILLIAM, you have managed to offend.
The Workmen, and the Women, and the Welsh.
Beware, or you'll discover ere the end
That the _three_ W.'s the great _one_ can squelch!

* * * * *

[Illustration: ENCOURAGING, VERY!

_Cockney Art-Teacher_ (_newly arrived and nervous--after a long
silence_). "IF YOU _SHOULD_ SEE A CHANCE O' DRORIN' ANYTHING
CORRECTLY--DO SO!!" [_Collapse of expectant Student._]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

_House of Commons. Monday, May 2_.--"Would that midnight or Closure
would come!" murmured Prince ARTHUR just now, looking wearily up at
clock.

It is only eleven; still another hour; hard even for trained nerves.
For more than six hours been discussing Scotch Equivalent Grant.